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Friday, October 28, 2011

Get Your Ex Girkfriend Back

Can you get your ex girlfriend back?

To get her back, you need to change how she perceives you as a man and how much she feels for you sexually. This cannot be done with words alone. You need to alter your behavior, actions AND words.

Almost every guy has a girlfriend they wish they could get back.

I personally don’t have that problem anymore because most of my ex GFs are still trying to get me back. Why? My “perfect girlfriend” cheated on me and then broke up with me a long time ago and the whole experienced killed my confidence and self-esteem. Eventually, I got the point where I was sick and tired of being single and feeling lonely and I decided to work out the secrets to success with women.

Since discovering the attraction, dating & relationship secrets that I’ve been teaching here at The Modern Man for the last 5 years, NO woman has ever wanted to break up with me (not even close). However, despite my new found success with women, I do have a HUGE AMOUNT of sympathy and empathy for guys who want to get an ex girlfriend back. So, I’m willing to help out!

Let’s begin…

The Way it Usually Works
A few months after a break up, most people eventually realize that their relationship had run its course and breaking up was a good idea after all. The two individuals then move on to a new chapter in their lives by dating other people.

Sometimes however, a man (for example) is left grieving and can’t think of anything else but how to get his ex girlfriend back. He finds it difficult to eat, sleep and concentrate on anything for too long before he’s back to thinking about his ex. Nothing that anyone says about “moving on” and “plenty of fish in the sea” makes any sense to him. He wants his ex-girlfriend back…NOW! He feels that what he had with her was special and he couldn’t find the same type of love and experience with another woman.

Do You Want Her Back or Need Her Back?
The first thing you need to determine is whether you want her back or if you feel that you need her back. This is a very important distinction that changes the whole argument.

If you want her back because what you had was a really good thing that somehow got messed up, you definitely have a reason to try and get her back and it is possible that you will get her back. On the other hand, if you feel as if you need her back because you’re too scared or lazy to go out there and find a new girlfriend, then you probably need to stop and be honest with yourself. If I am to be honest with you as I always am, I would say this:

You may not be able to see it now, but you’ll likely have several more important relationships throughout your life. This woman may be special to you right now, but if you had 3 or 4 other attractive women who were interested in you right now, you probably wouldn’t be so worried about losing her. Likewise, if you knew that you could go out and approach a woman in a bar and get a positive response every time, you probably wouldn’t be so worried about trying to meet new women.

I know, I know! You don’t want to hear that though, do you? Let’s get back to your relationship with your ex…

Why Did You Break Up?
Most breakups don’t happen out of the blue. There are often many warning signs that you either ignored or failed to notice because you weren’t as emotionally and intellectually involved in the relationship as you should have been. In other words, you wooed her, you won her and you then dropped the ball and took her for granted. Usually though, most of the guys who want to get their ex-girlfriend back have either become too needy, too protective or too much of a wuss around her. If that is you, I recommend you read The Flow and learn how to avoid making the same mistakes in future, as well as the correct way to maintain your confidence and a woman’s attraction in a relationship.

Did Either of You Cheat?
Cheating causes a huge loss of trust that will be very difficult, but not always impossible to get past. If there was infidelity, who was the one who was unfaithful?

If you were the one who cheated, then you not only have to be sincerely sorry for it, but you need to truly know in your heart that you won’t do it to her again and then slowly rebuild her trust in you. That is, if she’s willing to take you back! On the other hand, if she was the person who slept with someone else, you must determine if you’re willing to live with her indiscretion and not hold it against her in the future. Be warned though: Most studies show that people who cheat in relationships usually end up doing it again, so I would personally you advise to break up with her and move on. That will be less painful that getting back together, falling deeper in love only to have her go and cheat again.

If you decide to forgive her, but continue to bring up the past, especially when you’re fighting or you want to ‘hurt’ her, your relationship will eventually end anyway. So, you might as well just move on and find a new girlfriend. When you begin a new relationship with the next woman, you have to make sure that the resentment and distrust you felt for your ex isn’t carried into your new relationship. You can’t punish your new girlfriend for another woman’s mistake by being overly suspicious, guarded and not trusting her. That will only set you up for yet another breakup.

Only you can determine if your current relationship (and what’s left of it) is worth saving despite the fact that your girlfriend has surrendered to another man and openly let him penetrate her body and mind. If she says she didn’t enjoy it and only had sex with him to get over you or get revenge, she is most likely lying. The last time I checked (…last night!), sex IS VERY enjoyable last time, so she “probably” enjoyed it.

Deciding whether you will forgive and forget is a very personal choice and you should think long and hard about what are willing to accept. Only you know how much you’re willing risk to be with her. However, if you’re only getting back with her because you’re scared to face the world alone, prepare for further heartbreak. She will sense your weakness, it will turn her off at a deep level and she will then feel the need to break up with you once and for all.

“We Have to Talk”
If you’ve missed or ignored all of the warning signs that your girlfriend has been unhappy and now wants to break up with you, how you handle the inevitable “We have to talk” discussion can greatly affect whether or not you can win your girlfriend back immediately or if it will take more work on your part.

It is always more difficult to fix things if she will only say something like, “I’m sorry, but I need more space,” “It’s not you, it’s me,” or gives you another vague reason for the breakup. If that’s all she gives you to work with, you’ll have to do some really important soul-searching to determine what part you may have played in the breakup. You need to decide if her wanting to end your relationship was justified, what you’re willing to do to correct any mistakes and if you really should be expected to change at all. After all, maybe it is her that is the problem.

Usually though, most women will never tell you the real reason why they want to break up with you. If a woman says, “I think we’ve changed as people” it could actually mean that she’s no longer attracted to you or she simply wants to have fun again by sleeping with new men. It is very difficult to get that type of truth out of someone because they don’t want to hurt your feelings or look selfish for going after what they want.

If she is simply upset that you don’t spend enough time together, you watch too much sports on TV or other simple things that you can fix, you have a good chance of getting her back. However, if it is more personal things like she has lost attraction for you because you’ve become too needy, too protective or you’re not really going after anything in life and just want to spend all your time with her, the truth is that you’ve probably lost her and won’t get her back.

All Talk, No Action
Actions always speak louder than words. Telling her you’re going to change isn’t going to make her believe you more than if you actually show her how you’ve changed (e.g. by being more confident, not being such a wuss, having a purpose in life other than just her, etc.). If you don’t know what to change, read The Flow and learn what attracts women and what turns them off.

The Do’s and Don’ts If You Have Already Broken Up

* Don’t plead, beg, whine or otherwise put yourself into a position where you’re giving up your power in the relationship. It won’t have the effect you desire, but will instead cause her to lose respect for you, lose attraction for you and feel like she wants to be further away from you.
Women are most attracted to men who are mentally and emotionally strong (e.g. confident, not needy, masculine, not insecure, etc). Giving up your power and acting desperate is not what a woman is looking for.
* Don’t hound her with calls, letters and text messages. You will only come off as pathetic.
* Don’t call her friends or family and ask for their help because you miss her so much and you want her back. You’ll embarrass and anger her and what might have been a potentially ‘friendly’ breakup with a possibility of reconciliation is going to escalate to her potentially telling you to stay out of her life forever.
* Do demonstrate that you’re still happy with or without her. Talk confidently, do fun things, catch up with friends, go out to party and enjoy yourself.
* Do display the cheeky humor, charm, and confidence that originally won her over whenever your paths cross.
* Do post photos on Facebook of you hanging out with other women and having a good time with friends. This works better than trying to convince her to take you back. Let her see that you’re a valuable guy and she will be more likely to rethink her decision.
* Do something to maintain your self-esteem (possibly try the 30 Day Challenge if you’re up for it) and start casually dating some new women without shoving it in her face.

Will You Get Her Back?
If your relationship wasn’t meant to be anything more than it was, then you will need to come to terms with the fact that you have been through a difficult learning experience and then take the lessons learned from this relationship into the next to make it more successful.

If you are meant to get back together and if she really does love you and want you back, she will realize that in good time. Sometimes, a woman will run back to you as soon as she sees that she’s lost something valuable. Sometimes, she will need to “get out there” and date for a while before she realizes that she is meant to be with you. However, if your girlfriend broke up with you because you became weak, needy or too protective, you really don’t have much chance of getting her back in the short term. 5-10 years down the track maybe, but by that point you will have moved on and found love again.

Have a Question?
I’m interested to know if you need help with this. Ask me your questions and I’ll give you some advice and strategy to get your ex girlfriend back.

Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

The Real Secret to Making Your Ex Boyfriend Want You
With all of the advice I've given over the years it is funny how easy it can be to overlook the simplicity of human relationships. We always believe that our situation is unique or complex even though throughout the history of the earth millions have suffered through the same experience. There is a core reason why we are attracted to certain people, and the closer you can get to generating that feeling for your ex the better your odds will be to get back together.

So what am I talking about? Watch the video to find out!



Tips to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Has a New Girlfriend
Just because your ex boyfriend is dating someone new doesn't mean all hope is lost for getting back together. For starters, rebound relationships rarely last because they are based almost exclusively on looks or lust. Whatever the reason was for why your ex dumped you, their new girlfriend is likely just being used to satisfy their immediate needs. The chances of them building a strong interpersonal friendship with them are not very good.

As simple as it sounds, the best way to get your ex boyfriend back under these circumstances is to simply be yourself and enjoy life. You shouldn't waste time trying to size up your competition because they really have nothing to do with you and your ex. In fact, you can make a bigger statement about yourself by ignoring her or politely introducing yourself.

Keep in mind that your main objective here is to steal your ex back. To be successful you'll need to show your ex everything they are missing by not being with you. This is why you want be seen smiling and having fun with your best friends. Facebook is a good tool for showing off your social status activities. Post regular updates and pictures of yourself as if you are having the time of your life. The idea of course is to prove you don't need a boyfriend to have fun.

Don't shy away from interacting with your ex during this time. Remember that you wan them to notice you. Bump into them whenever possible and maintain a positive and slightly flirtatious tone of conversation. This can really mess with their mind because they expect you to be bitter and depressed after your breakup.

If you can build up your social popularity while keeping your ex's attention you will eventually generate some attraction from them. When this starts to happen you want to drag it out and keep them wanting more. Don't fall for the temptation of hooking up with your ex before they have committed to you. Your best asset is being the one thing they can't have. If you give-in too early then you will become nothing more than their hookup call.

How to Forget About Your Ex Boyfriend

Okay,are you reading this because you are hung up on your old beau?You know what? You need to forget him. He is part of your past now and he is gone. You need to get on with your life.
Steps
1. GET RID OF ALL of his belongings.(Ex, football sweaters, presents, CDs, pictures) anything that reminds you of him. Take all of them and throw it away or give them back to him. This may hurt knowing that those were the only things you had left of him. That is why you need to get rid of them though. You will feel a sense of accomplishment after you do this and it will be you first step towards healing.

2. Think about all of the good qualities that you have. Make a list of what you love about yourself. When you are done with that list, make another one about all the bad qualities of your ex. Look at both of them and see that he doesn't deserve you, and that your separation was necessary. You will have more self-confidence knowing that your ex is really a jerk or a pig. You will be thankful that you broke up with someone that has the qualities that make him an unfit boyfriend.

3. You must be thinking about all of the good times that you had with him. But you must have some bad times also. Think back to all of the fights and all the times you have wanted to break-up with him. Remember that no one has the right to take over your life. He broke up with you, so he couldn’t see all of the amazing unique traits that you have. He was obviously blind to every single one ofthem.

4. Find support from your friends and family. This will allow you to feel better and quicken the healing process.

5. By this step your confidence should have increased by a whole lot. But if you still don't feel content with everything, confront him.Ask him if you can maintain a friendship, if you are strong enough to stop having romantic feelings for him. If you don't feel like being friends, you can just tell him how you feel and he can either apologize, or just stay quiet and give you yet another reason on why he's a dimwit.

How to Forget Your Ex Girlfriend

Eventually, you've got to let go of your ex-girlfriend so that you can move on to bigger and better things. Here are some steps to get you going.
1. Call your old friends up and ask what they are doing so you could hang out and do guy things.

2. Start a hobby and get really good at it.

3. Take down all her pictures and anything that reminds you of her.

4. Move your furniture around, buy fresh new bedding and paint a wall a new colour to reclaim your space as your space

5. Round up all the ex's belongings in your home and put them somewhere in a bag/box. Just keep them out of sight. Don't worry about getting it to her, you'll only make it an excuse to see her otherwise,

6. It might seem impossible at first, but try flirting with other girls, even if you don't like them. Eventually you'll find one you like.

7. Work out, it may help the pain go away.

5 Great Tips On How To Get Girls

Among the many emotions that man was destined to experience, it seems that love is the best emotions ever created.

No wonder why many people are wishing to find their own true love to be happy and live a life that is full of contentment and satisfactions in spite of the many trials that life has to offer.

According to some surveys, most of the people would want to marry some day, that is why each of them are willing to go out on dates. In the U.S. alone, nearly 53% said that they have dated more than one person at the same time.

However, the concept boils down to the fact that even if dating seems to be the ideal ways to start develop a great relationship founded on true love, still it cannot be directly concluded that the activity is relatively easy.

Take for example the idea of getting a girl. Many boys are having a hard time finding the best strategy to get girls. This is because many boys also have their own fears, especially the fear of rejection.

So for those who want to know how to get a girl and ask her on a date, here are five ways that will surely make you get one and have fun:

1. Create a dazzling personality

According to some statistical reports, almost 30% of the adult population in the U.S. who are engaged into dating activities stated that the most important attribute that they are looking for in a guy is the personality. That is why most girls insist that the looks are not that important, what matters most is the personality of the person.

So if you really want to succeed in getting a girl, try to create an impression first that you have the best personality in the world. This can be projected through your sense of humor, confidence, and the way you carry the conversation with wit.

2. Be cool

The key to getting a girl should not project an air of desperation. Even if you have not dated a girl yet, try to be cool and create an impression that you want to get the girl because you like her and not because you are in desperate need of a partner.

3. Be ready for rejections

The problem with most people, especially guys, is that they have too high expectations when it comes to dating and relationships. In fact, almost 62% of those who are into dating have asserted that the people’s probabilities and expectations are very high these days.

Hence, it is a must that people must learn how to face rejections, especially men, so that getting girls would be easier. Keep in mind that girls can still say no even if you have the best car, good looks, and dazzling personality.

If in case you were not able to get the girl that you want, try to reflect what might have been the cause why she had rejected you. Also, there are still other girls out there that you can turn to, so do not be despaired

4. Consider the “No” of the girl

There are many cases wherein a girl might say “no” for two possible reasons: one is that she does not like you, and the second reason is that she wants to go out with you but not tonight. These are two different situations that must be clearly understood.

The problem with some guys is that they take it personally whenever they receive some forms of rejections. So it is better to analyze the situation and the intention of the girl by saying “NO.”

5. Be casual

The best way to get a girl is to make her feel that the date would be very casual and would not necessarily involve a conventional date or anything that would imply romantic involvement.

What matters most is for the girl to enjoy her time with you such that if both of you stand a chance of having a good relationship in the future, the memory of your first date should have been vested on good recall.

The bottom line is that guys should never make the girls feel pressured in saying “yes” every time they are being asked to go out. What matters most in getting a girl is to make it sure that the person concerned will be comfortable and would feel that she will be in good hands.

About The Author: My Relationship Tips (http://myrelationshipguide.com) is your one stop for relationship advice.

Thanks for your interest in...

How to Find a Boyfriend

15 Tips from Professional Matchmakers
"Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match / Find me a find, catch me a catch." We've come a long way from the era depicted in the classic musical Fiddler on the Roof, when parents routinely hired someone to find their adult children a "perfect match." We've now got the freedom to be our own matchmakers, but there's still a catch. It's not always an easy task! Consequently, many singles are enlisting the help of professional cupids whose business is bringing together compatible couples.

Today's matchmakers work hard for their money -- and they demand a lot of it. Prices for these pros run steep, and only a select few singles are affluent enough to afford the service. But you get what you pay for, and matchmakers are selective about their clientele, finding them via referrals as well as by scouring cocktail parties, political fundraising events and charity balls. Then comes an extensive one-on-one interview and background check. "I'm more than a matchmaker. I become a friend to my clients," says New York-based matchmaker Barbra Brooks. "I'm available to them at all times. After each arranged date, I interview both people for feedback, which I pass on -- diplomatically, of course." Over the past 16 years, this personalized approach has resulted in "hundreds of marriages and at least 40 babies," adds Brooks.

No need to be wistful, though, if you can't afford to hire a matchmaker of this caliber. We've asked Brooks and three other exclusive matchmakers for their best tips on how to find love. Here's what they have to say:

1. Be realistic. "If you look like Roseanne, don't fixate on finding a Tom Cruise look-alike," says Brooks. "I also tell women who seem to be on a money hunt -- that is, looking exclusively for men with big bucks -- they'll have to change their attitude if their goal is a long-term relationship. Men can sense right away if you're out for their wallet, not their personality." In the long run, the most priceless attributes you should want in a mate are not looks and/or money but a loving heart, dependable nature and commitment to you.

2. Be a hot mama, not a prospective mama. "Men have a radar for detecting women who are baby hungry," warns Christie Kelleher, director of the New York office of Kelleher & Associates, an upscale matchmaking service for successful professionals. Kelleher, whose service has brought together about 6,000 marriages in 19 years, adds, "He's thinking, 'Whoa -- I don't even know your middle name, and I already know the colors you want to paint your kid's nursery.'" Your best bet: no baby talk!

3. Make dating a priority. Janis Spindel, the self-described "cupid in a Chanel suit" and president of the New York-based Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking service, suggests that clients approach finding the right man as they would a job hunt. The key is to always be prepared because you never know when or where you'll meet someone. Wear clothes that make you feel attractive and plan ahead for interesting conversation. "You also need to change your routine," adds Spindel, who in the last 10 years has brought together more than 300 marriages and 400 monogamous couples. "Don't get your newspaper delivered. You might meet someone at the newsstand."

4. Nix the ex talk. On the first few dates, Brooks advises her clients to ex-cise the desire to tell the new man all about the previous boyfriend. If your ex was fabulous, your date will feel he can't measure up. But if you bash your ex too much, your date could think, Whoops -- she might be talking about me that way in a few months! Similarly, you should be wary of a man who can't stop talking about his former paramour. If he's still hung up on her, his heart has no room for you.

5. Neurotics needn't apply. You both need to be emotionally healthy to forge a successful relationship, says Neil Clark Warren, Ph.D., who founded a cyber matchmaking service called eHarmony.com in 2000. For instance, it's not a good sign if you're in the relationship primarily because you're frightened of being alone. It's equally bad if your guy looks as longingly at the gin bottle as he does at you. Or if he's morbidly depressed. Don't fall into the codependent trap and think you can "heal" him. It's smarter to look for a man who doesn't need healing.

6. Mind your manners. Men are understandably appalled when their bright, attractive, funny date suddenly does something tacky like ripping a piece of bread in half and putting the other half back in the bread basket or applying lipstick at the table. "Men also find it gauche when the woman calls for the check," says Brooks. "The man wants to do the summoning of the waiter and the paying of the bill." Spindel also warns against a few more etiquette faux pas: "Be on time, shut off your cell phone, look him in the eye, not down at the floor. Don't ask him too many questions about his job. He'll think you're a gold digger." You don't need to be Emily Post, but if you display the sensitivity of a lamppost, don't be surprised if the first date is the last one.

7. Similarity breeds success. "This doesn't mean you've got to marry your clone. But when you're getting to know someone, ask yourself if you and he have the same core values," says Warren, also the author of Date...or Soul Mate? How to Know If Someone Is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less. "Think money, intelligence, lifestyle and sense of humor," he says. And think really hard if your major life goals mix well. Both of you need to agree on the merits or disadvantages of marriage, making babies and whether to aspire to living in a tree house or a penthouse. These are things that you can start finding out in as little as a date or two.

8. Present a challenge. "Let the guy know you like him, but don't take his initial interest as a signal to latch on to him right away," Kelleher suggests. She points out that "three dates do not a relationship make." We're not talking The Rules here -- don't hesitate to return his call in a timely fashion. But don't build your social life around him (for example, keep your Friday night theater subscription with your friend Beth) and don't press him to talk about his "feelings." Do make it clear that while he's a welcome addition to your life, he is not the whole enchilada. This is all subject to change after you have been dating awhile and the relationship has become more serious.

9. Don't be a babbling brook. Sure, you've got a host of charming stories, but save some for the second date. "Men really want to occasionally get a word in edgewise," says Brooks. Women should pace themselves and think of about two to three great stories to tell on their date. But don't go overboard talking about yourself!

10. Sunny side up. "My male clients bemoan the lack of warmth that women project," says Kelleher. "Guys say many women clearly don't want their date to give them a hug or open the door." Lower your guard, flex those lips into a smile and be nice.

11. Be a girl. Leave your professional persona at the office. "My male clients also complain that women often come across as masculine -- dressing in stiff suits and debating their date on everything from what wine to order to world affairs to who gets the check," says Kelleher. (Let him.) In other words: It's a date, not a boxing match.

12. Look beyond his good looks. Don't be dazzled by a handsome face and buff bod. Is this guy worthy of winning your heart? "How good is he at relationships? How does he treat his mother? How does he get along with siblings, cousins and friends?" asks Brooks. If the answer to those questions is not too well, take heed. Once he is confident of your affections, he might revert to type and treat you like everyone else he "cares" about.

13. Be mindful of that ole black magic. At first glance you felt more of an urge to hold his hand than jump his bones? That's not a terrible sign: Physical attraction can deepen as you really get to know and trust each other. But there must be an ember of initial attraction to build from. Without any chemistry, Warren says, you're better off as friends.

14. Hold out before having sex. Spindel is adamant that you should forego sex at least for a little while. The matchmaker feels that until your guy is ready to commit at least part of his soul, you're better off not committing your entire body. Her rationale: "Ideally you should wait until you've had the discussion about not seeing other people. That way you're sure he's operating more out of love than lust."

15. Go with the flow. The real key to making it as a couple, says Warren, is that both people are willing to compromise. If one or both partners must always have their way and are threatened by even small changes, trouble will soon be brewing. For example, if he suddenly has to work late on a night you were hoping to cook him dinner, be understanding of his need to be flexible and have him come over for coffee instead of the main course. Of course, he should be really sorry for the change in plans and should want to make it up to you.